Seeking real friendships is becoming more difficult with the constant negativity, social media isolation, and there is always the age factor. The older you get, the more difficult it can be to find good friends. After someone asked for behaviors women are not willing to tolerate in a friendship, here is what women had to say.
1. Being a Manipulator
Countless women in the thread confess that being manipulative is reason enough not to be friends. One specifies, “I quit a friendship because of this, the best decision of my life. My opinions were always wrong; she made me feel like I was not good enough and ruined my self-confidence.”
2. Being Obsessive
“Being obsessive or jealous,” one notes. “Which often goes hand in hand with low self-esteem. I’m not the most empathetic person, so I try not to befriend people with high emotional support needs. It just never works out and eventually becomes toxic for one of us.”
3. Treating Service Staff Poorly
Treating service staff, retail people, and any other customer service representative with disrespect is enough to keep these women away. One clarifies, “I pay attention to how they treat service staff. Or any low-wage earner. When it’s not good, that is usually a red flag.”
4. Being a Constant Negative Nellie
The number-one-voted behavior is constant negativity. For example, someone that continually has drama and tragedy daily. Then they go on and on about themselves and their life but never stop to ask how you’re doing.
5. Criticizing Others For Fun
Women in the forum unanimously agree they distance themselves from the behavior of trash-talking and criticizing others for fun. While venting about an unfortunate experience with someone is noted as “fair,” gossiping is a behavioral offense. Finally, if they talk to you about others, they’ll talk about you too.
6. One-Way Communication
An even exchange in communication is something these women desire in a friend. One explains she got tired of being the only one to reach out. She’s stepped back from a few and realized they have yet to reach out. So she’s lost many friends. A second woman says old friends will message her on Instagram saying, “I miss you!” However, they make zero attempts to connect.
7. Canceling Plans Last Minute
How many times have you been excited to catch up with a friend, only for them to cancel at the last minute? This woman adds that it is all the more insulting if accompanied by a bologna excuse. “At my age, you either want to hang out or you don’t.”
She elaborates that they get a “free pass” if it happens once. But once it becomes a serial offense, she’s out, noting you’re wasting her time and energy.
8. Negative Self-Talk
Too much negative self-talk is a turn-off in this forum. One woman explains, already harboring plenty of bad thoughts about herself. So she doesn’t need someone else finding new things for me to be down about.
9. Dominating Conversations and Interrupting
Oh, look, my ADHD has entered the chat. Oh, the women in this thread don’t like that joke either. Seriously though, nobody likes to be interrupted and talked over. Numerous women agree that never being heard in a friendship is a behavior they won’t put up with or desire.
10. Trauma Dumping
Have you ever entertained that friend who repeatedly complains about the same problems with different situations and who asks for then ignores your advice? That’s called trauma dumping, a behavior these women want no part of in a friendship. One elaborates, “That lack of self-awareness and ability to check in before emotional dumping is just too exhausting.”
11. Constantly Roasting
Being disproportionately roasted by a friend is undesirable behavior. A woman clarifies that she understands friends joke around. However, when you’re always the butt of the joke but can’t ever dish anything back because they can’t take it is cruel bullying and not very friendly at all.
12. Can’t Own Up to Their Mistakes
That friend who refuses to take responsibility for her mistakes is unpopular. She always finds herself in some mess but blames someone else. A woman suggests, “In her mind, she is never wrong.”
13. Excessive Drinking
Excessive drinking is unwanted by many. Many women note that wine has become the personality of several women they know. Unfortunately, it’s caused them to lose friends because they distance themselves from women who need bottles of wine to function daily. Others agree that there are many recovering alcoholics in friendship circles, and some of the drinkers have been disrespectful of that.
14. Jealousy
Have you had a girlfriend who demonstrates jealousy toward you and your accomplishments? It’s unflattering. If you can’t celebrate the success of your girlfriends without finding a way to bring negativity and jealousy into the relationship, that ain’t it. Friends root for their friend’s wins.
15. Surrounded By Bad Vices
One woman says she distances herself from women who surround themselves with vices: smoking, vaping, junk food, drinking, drugs, etc. She explains, “Your circle will influence who you become in subtle ways, or more, so it may seem like not that big of a deal, but compared to having friends that are creative, hardworking, travelers, and love to experience the positive endorphins in life makes all the difference.”
16. Sharing Secrets
No one wants a friend they cannot confidently confide in without having their business spread. When you share something with a friend, and they spread it to mutual friends, coworkers, and even total strangers, it’s hurtful behavior these women aren’t putting up with today.
17. Can’t Ever Be Single
Do you know that woman who always needs to be in a relationship and hasn’t spent more than a few days of her life single? Numerous women don’t want to be friends with that woman, noting you need to spend time with yourself to grow.
18. When It’s Always About the Kids
Finally, several women refrain from engaging in friendships with women who are only mothers and nothing else. For example, they only want to discuss their children and have no identity outside of being a mom.
Source: Reddit.
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Elizabeth Ervin is the owner of Sober Healing. She is a freelance writer passionate about opioid recovery and has celebrated breaking free since 09-27-2013. She advocates for mental health awareness and encourages others to embrace healing, recovery, and Jesus.