Do you have any excellent advice for people who are dating or in relationships? I’ll start by saying that a potential partner should want you, not need you.
Codependence places a massive burden on the partner and is entirely unhealthy. Make sure you are a whole person and not a codependent one before diving head-first into a relationship. Here are ten other excellent pieces of relationship advice to heed today.
1. Don’t Look For a Relationship for the Sake of Being in One
Don’t look for a relationship just to be in a relationship. Be comfortable with being single. It’s often the time when the most self-reflection and growth can occur. Also, remember that not having a romantic relationship is better than being in a bad one. Don’t stick around for any type of abuse.
2. Never Take Each Other for Granted and Show Appreciation Often
Don’t take advantage of each other; put in your fair share and show appreciation often. Please and thank you go a long way. So, don’t let those basic manners disappear with time. You should treat your spouse with the same respect and kindness you want from them.
Remember that not everyone has the same love language. So ensure that you know your partner’s love language and speak it. Sometimes, bringing flowers or giving massages speaks appreciation.
3. There Is No Reason to Keep Score
There is no reason to keep score in a relationship because you are on the same team! If you find that either of you is keeping a list of wrongdoings or good deeds, it’s time to reevaluate the relationship. That’s not love.
Love is patient; love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others. It is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away — 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 NIV.
4. The Grass Is Greener Where You Water It
Have you ever heard the expression: “The grass is always greener on the other side?” A more fitting saying is: “The grass is greener where you water it.” Don’t worry about or covet what your neighbors have going on. Focus on you and your relationship. Water your grass and watch it grow into beautiful things.
5. Don’t Lose Yourself as an Individual
One of the biggest mistakes people can make when entering into a relationship is losing themselves as individuals. For a healthier-rounded relationship, you must maintain other relationships, passions, and hobbies.
It’s great to have hobbies together, but spending every waking moment together is unhealthy. Alone time is necessary for a strong relationship with self and each other.
6. Discuss Beliefs and Life Goals Before Marriage
My father repeatedly expressed the importance of being “equally yoked” when dating. You won’t likely find success in a relationship where your fundamental belief systems, including politics and religion, aren’t aligned. Before becoming serious with or marrying someone, you should have significant conversations about financial habits, life goals, and children.
7. Never Stop Dating
Never stop dating your significant other. It’s important that you remember to laugh together and keep the romance alive. Too often, couples become so enthralled in work life and their children’s schedules that their identities disappear.
Marriages can begin to feel more like habits and routines than adventurous and romantic. Explore your community, enjoy fine dining, and indulge in other dating activities that you are passionate about, like dancing or bowling.
8. Open and Honest Communication Is the Key
Open and honest communication is the key to a healthy relationship, and trust is your foundation. Failure to communicate effectively can lead to misunderstandings, unnecessary stress, and arguments.
Don’t presume things. Your partner can’t read your mind, so discuss why you are upset or what is bothering you. Please don’t hold your negative thoughts inside; it will only worsen the situation. Also, you can’t read your partner’s mind. So, never assume the worst intentions if they say something hurtful. Likely, they meant it differently than the way you interpreted it.
9. Marry Your Best Friend
I’m saddened when I hear wives complaining about their husbands. My husband is not only my partner but also my best friend. I’ll never forget how badly I wanted to race to the finish line in the initial stages of getting to know each other, but he slowed us down to a friendship.
I’m grateful I followed his lead because that year, we became so close; he’s the best friend I’ve ever had. Be sure your partner is the person you love talking to, hanging out with, and laughing with the most.
10. When You Marry Someone, You Marry Their Whole Family
Have you ever heard, “When you marry someone, you marry their entire family?” It’s the truth, and it’s important to acknowledge it before saying “I do.” If your partner’s family is toxic, always involved in your business, or dislikes you, those are all significant complications that will breed many uncomfortable situations and, likely, fights with your spouse.
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10 Once Romantic Things That Would Never Fly Today
Gone are the days when women would sit and wait in cars for a man to walk around and open her door. Some women call it progress, and others long to know what that feels like. Here are a few things that were once considered romantic but wouldn’t cut it in today’s dating world.
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Elizabeth Ervin is the owner of Sober Healing. She is a freelance writer passionate about opioid recovery and has celebrated breaking free since 09-27-2013. She advocates for mental health awareness and encourages others to embrace healing, recovery, and Jesus.