Gone are the days when women would sit and wait in cars for a man to walk around and open her door. Some women call it progress, and others long to know what that feels like. Here are a few things that were once considered romantic but wouldn’t cut it in today’s dating world.
1. Getting Married After Knowing Someone for Three Months
My grandpa and grandma were married after only dating for three months before he was shipped off to build runways for the Navy in WWII. They told it like a romantic story, but that would be wild today. How much do you really know about somebody at that time?
Some military and religious cults are still like that today, but for the most part, people don’t think their children being married after only three months of knowing someone is romantic.
2. Forcing a Kiss
Forcing a kiss because you can’t resist the urge to kiss someone is called sexual assault today. However, you see it all the time in older movies, where the hero forcefully grabs the heroine and plants a kiss on her lips without consent. Old James Bond movies are particularly problematic.
3. A Man Ordering Food for His Date
There was a time when it was customary for a man to order food for his date. As a woman, I can’t imagine a man other than my husband doing that for me, and that is only because he knows what I want.
4. Throwing Rocks Outside Her Window
Throwing rocks at someone’s window to sing to them in the middle of the night is no longer a credible romantic gesture. Imagine being asleep and being awoken by someone throwing rocks out your window. I wonder how many windows ended up having rocks thrown through them unintentionally.
5. Intentionally Dropping a Handkerchief
Women aren’t walking around intentionally dropping a handkerchief, waiting for a man to retrieve it, and running up to them to return it. However, that was once a flirty gesture that sparked romances.
6. Overly Persistent Courtships
Courtship that relies on being overly persistent was once considered incredibly romantic. Today, that behavior would be regarded as harassment and perhaps even stalking. The Notebook is one of the more notorious films for promoting that behavior as romantic, and the younger generations rip it apart as toxic and problematic.
7. Blasting Love Songs Outside Her Window
I’m having total ’80s flashbacks to Say Anything, where John Cusack holds a boombox over his head to play “In Your Eyes” by Peter Gabriel to get the girl’s attention, similar to throwing rocks outside her window. Only the stereo system is loud enough to forfeit that step. That doesn’t happen today.
8. Physically Fighting for a Woman
Do you remember when fighting to the death was something men did over a woman? It evolved to fist fighting. Women would pine for men to show them that level of affection as if it was the most romantic thing a man could do for their honor. It’s just stupid today and may earn you a felony assault charge.
9. Asking a Woman’s Father for Her Hand in Marriage
It was customary for a man to ask a father permission for his daughter’s hand in marriage. But evolution and feminism have squashed that idea as being unnecessary and insulting, as if a woman is a piece of property for men to negotiate over. Not all women feel this way. I still think it is romantic, but my dad was my best friend, and his opinion mattered to me.
10. Sending a Lock of Your Hair to Someone in the Mail
Did you know that locks of hair were once given as gifts to unrequited lovers or sweethearts as a romantic gesture? It’s true. Romantic cards were also often sent with hair woven into the design, especially as the modern concept of Valentine’s Day developed in the 19th century.
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Elizabeth Ervin is the owner of Sober Healing. She is a freelance writer passionate about opioid recovery and has celebrated breaking free since 09-27-2013. She advocates for mental health awareness and encourages others to embrace healing, recovery, and Jesus.