Recently, I stumbled upon a thread of interesting discussion. Someone asked what phrases, words, or sayings make you instantly hate someone. Hate is such a strong word, but is there anything people say that causes you to dislike them immediately?
1. “I Don’t Like Drama.”
Sure, Betty, then why are you constantly stirring the pot? A woman suggests that if someone says they don’t like or “don’t do drama,” you should prepare yourself because a lot of drama is coming your way should you choose to engage with this person.
2. “I’m Brutally Honest.”
Have you heard someone dismiss no tact under the guise of, “I’m brutally honest?” According to many, it’s a statement that flips a switch on what kind of person you are. One suggests, “No, you’re just brutal.”
3. “I’m a Lion in a World of Sheep.”
Or, in the same vein, stating that you’re an “alpha male” or “leader of the wolf pack.” Numerous gym rats in the thread explain it’s not uncommon to hear all three of these statements from guys at the gym. However, they note they are typically men who don’t last longer than a month in consistency and eventually stop coming.
4. “I’m a Boss Babe.”
Being a “boss babe” is a term associated with multi-level marketing (MLM) huns (many stay-at-home moms) who infiltrate your DMs with solicitations to be product testers for their snake oils. Moreover, to join their teams. Differing variations include boss lady, mom boss, girl boss, and queen.
However, one woman admits she loves that they label themselves, stating, “I know who to avoid. Instant red flags, rabbit in the cook pot flags right there.” That rabbit reference, of course, is a scene in Fatal Attraction when Glenn Close goes fully psychotic over a weekend affair and boils the family pet.
5. “If You Can’t Handle Me at My Worst, Then You Don’t Deserve Me at My Best.”
Have you heard this phrase or shared it as some inspirational Facebook meme? I’ve seen it in my feeds over the years. Nevertheless, people in this forum suggest that this is something toxic people say to make themselves sound better.
6. “You Can Trust Me. I’m a Christian.”
Oof. PREACH! I have heard this, and my goodness, I’ve even said it. But that is not a great message to spread because when you disappoint someone (and you will), you’ve now associated that offense with Jesus. So that’s not a good plan, and kind of the exact opposite of what we are set out to do.
A woman adds, “Immediately saying, ‘I’m a Christian.’ Nothing against Christian people; as an opener, I know that person will most likely be one of the least Christian people I encounter. Don’t tell me; show me.”
7. “Are You Familiar With Network Marketing?”
Oh, yeah. The MLMs, or network marketing, made this list twice. First, no one wants to hear about your “small business opportunity,” which involves making money for a not-so-mall business. A quick Google search of any of your companies says the same thing *cough* scam *cough.*”
Furthermore, to make money, you must profit off all the people underneath you who aren’t making money for themselves. You know, usually, all your friends and family that you’ve guilted or confused into it. No, thank you.
8. “Nobody Wants to Work Anymore!”
Yawn. What a weird way to say you’re unwilling to support a living wage. It’s not about not wanting to work anymore. It’s about not wanting to work three jobs to barely survive and still have no savings. It’s about not wanting to work the jobs available because they do not pay enough.
“Work harder” is an infuriating thing to hear when you’ve served the public your entire life, including nights, weekends, and holidays such as Thanksgiving and Christmas. “Get a different job” was great in theory. But then COVID happened, and we saw firsthand how that backfired when people decided to follow the advice.
9. “You Speak So Well!”
Another variation is, “You’re so articulate,” or much worse, “You don’t sound Black.” So you’re saying intelligence and articulation aren’t typical in the Black population? Because that’s the implication. Sadly, I’ve heard this expression from others about my Black friends and husband. They do not appreciate it. Would you?
10. “You’re One of the Good Ones.”
Similarly, an Indigenous person in Canada explains they’ve heard “you’re one of the good ones” so many times they contemplate hosting a comedy show, just to name that. I’ve also heard this statement about my husband: “He’s one of the good ones.” That’s saying so much more than you know.
11. “Who Did You Vote For?”
There are two types of Americans: those who think it’s rude to discuss politics and religion and those who can’t wait to argue. Have you ever been asked who you voted for in the States?
An American overseas explains they get sick when they come home and are met by intrusive people who decide whether they like you based on the red team/blue team mentality Americans have “pigeonholed ourselves into.”
Another user volunteers having conversations with strangers who asked where they were from, then proceeded to paint their entire personality and politics based on the politics of where they’re from. We call that black-and-white thinking and stereotyping.
12. “Just Wait Until….”
Have you ever celebrated something or been passionate about something happening in your life only to be met with the “Just Wait Until….” For example, a man states after getting married, he was met with:
- “Just wait until the spark dies.”
- “Just wait until you hate each other.”
- “Just wait until (insert jaded thing here).”
13. “Mama Bear.”
Awe, this one has me cracking up as I type this because I am wearing a t-shirt that says, “Blessed mama bear.” It’s not part of my identity; I know there are those. However, it was on sale at Kohl’s and is a pretty teal color, so I went for it.
Someone goes as far as stating, “Mama bear = manipulative, controlling, unstable woman who can’t let her children grow up (usually boys) and will dramatically lash out when they don’t get their way.” Ouch. I liked the shirt, OK?
14. “Are You Working Hard, or Hardly Working?”
One hundred percent if you work in the food or retail industry, you will hear this at least once every shift. I can’t hear the expression anymore without hearing Scott Seiss respond, “I’m hardly laughing!” Having to fake laugh through something you hear daily for ten years is soul-crushing.
15. “What’s Your Sign?”
Are you a fan of astrology? Well, giddy up, buttercup. Asking someone what their sign is or suggesting that they act some way because of their astrology sign is enough to turn many commenters in this forum off. For example, one elaborates, “If you are concerned about the zodiac, I’m immediately judging you.”
However, they continue, “Now, I know many woo-woo people, and they are generally way happier than your average non-woo-woo person in my experience.”
16. “Let’s Go, Brandon.”
Speaking of people who make politics their entire personality, the term “Let’s Go, Brandon” instantly causes people to dismiss you as unlikeable. It’s essentially a conservative way to say “screw Joe Biden,” but without the power of a nice solid F word, like the liberal way of stating the same sentiment to Donald Trump. It’s so funny (not haha) being on the outside of both of those spectacles and seeing how the same it all really is.
17. “People Are So Easily Offended These Days.”
Numerous commenters agree that dismissing people as easily offended or overly sensitive today indicates that they won’t like you. Furthermore, they believe it is an expression that demonstrates ignorance about things like gender, homosexuality, sexism, and racism.
18. “I’m Not Racist, but….”
Speaking of racism, every time someone has said, “I’m not racist, but….” in my presence, it has been followed by a racist statement. Multiple people agree that this statement is always followed by something incredibly racist.
This thread states, “I don’t have a racist bone in my body!” / “I don’t care if you’re black, white, green, orange, or purple!” – are phrases used exclusively by racists.
19. “I’m in Sales.”
Oh, you thought only MLM was getting thrown under the bus here? Nope! Numerous commenters are turned off when someone utters those words.
20. “You Have To Earn Respect.”
I grew up in a household where I had the term “Respect is something that you earn” reiterated into my consciousness for yours. But I agree with this user who says, “No. You don’t. Treat others how you want to be treated.” One correlates this with the idea of “respecting your elders.”
However, they suggest it allows older people to dismiss giving back respect based on their age, and that’s stupid. You’re not going to get respect unless you give it.
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Elizabeth Ervin is the owner of Sober Healing. She is a freelance writer passionate about opioid recovery and has celebrated breaking free since 09-27-2013. She advocates for mental health awareness and encourages others to embrace healing, recovery, and spirituality.