Dating can be a challenging activity today. Between catfishing and toxic behaviors like ghosting, a lot can go wrong, and it doesn’t always feel good. Here is a look at several common dating misconceptions that might make the process a little easier.
1. That Everyone Dates Multiple People
One of the bigger common dating misconceptions is that everyone is out there going on multiple dates. Some people do not have the time or energy to date multiple people at once. That’s not to say it’s not alright to do that, provided all parties are aware.
2. That Gender-Specific Stereotypes are Valid
Stop with the gender-specific stereotypes! Not all women want a tall man. And not all men are intimidated by strong women. Most people genuinely seek an emotional connection, a best friend, and a partner in life.
3. That You Have to Use Dating Apps
Another common dating misconception is that most people meet on dating apps. According to a recent PEW study, 80% of couples aged 20-30 met outside dating apps, such as in social settings, like through friends.
4. That Fighting Makes for a Healthy Relationship
Have you ever heard someone say that an emotional rollercoaster filled with passion and fighting is a healthy relationship? It’s unhealthy, and too many people justify constant bickering as “normal” relationship fighting.
5. That all Military Service Members Cheat
Many servicemen will attest to hearing: “I don’t date military guys. “There is a negative stigma attached to people in the armed forces as being cheaters. However, that couldn’t be anything further than the truth.
Sure, there are lots of cheaters in the military, and there are tons of cheaters in civilian life, too. Plenty of faithful service members are devoted to their spouses.
6. That Women Want Dinner Dates for Free Food
No one is contesting that some shallow and selfish women use their looks to get men to pay for their dinner and drinks. But let’s be honest; most women are not going through the motions for a free meal.
7. That There is Only One Person Out There for You
The idea that only one person exists for you in a world of eight billion people is one of the silliest common dating misconceptions out there. Relationships are hard work; if you find the right partner, you can build a beautiful love and life together.
8. That Women Have it Easier
Why do so many people have the idea that women have it easier when it comes to dating? No one is denying that it may be easier for women to have more sexual partners, but that’s not what all women want.
Finding genuine connections with decent human beings in this self-involved world is equally challenging for both genders.
9. That if You Try Harder the Other Person Will Come Around
If it’s not meant to be, it’s not meant to be. The idea that if you try harder and harder, you can make another person come around to your way of thinking or feeling is unrealistic. You’re setting yourself up for failure and possibly hurt feelings. Also, no means no.
10. That Women Should Play Hard-to-Get
This brings us to one of the more old-fashioned common dating misconceptions still lurking around: most men do not want a woman who plays hard-to-get.
Some may not want a woman who gives it up immediately, but the idea of playing hard-to-get is openly stating you’re starting the premise of your relationship playing games. Who wants that?
11. That You’ll Find the One When You Stop Looking
The idea that you’ll find the one you’re looking for is strange, considering that if you’re not putting yourself out there, you’re not going to meet people. I get it. Some people have this experience of meeting someone when they aren’t looking, but that’s not the standard of finding a partner.
12. That a First Date Spark Is a Must
Whoever came up with the suggestion that there needs to be some magical spark on a first date is absurd. My husband and I grew into best friends over the course of a year before we were in love with each other.
To be fair, I was all in immediately, haha, but he took some coming around. He likes to tell people that I chased him until he caught me. And I’m okay with it.
Elizabeth Ervin is the owner of Sober Healing. She is a freelance writer passionate about opioid recovery and has celebrated breaking free since 09-27-2013. She advocates for mental health awareness and encourages others to embrace healing, recovery, and Jesus.