Is there a profession out there producing people that are unmarriable? According to the internet, there are plenty. After someone asked for examples of said professions, these jobs were the top-voted.
1. MLM Boss Babes and Gabes
“Anyone who thinks their MLM scheme is a profession.” Yes, 100% this. It’s sad to watch these predatory systems somehow legally operate as an inverted funnel scam. Multiple thread contributors shared stories of people emptying their 401ks to “invest” in their “small business.” None of them made any money.
“I lost a potential significant other over that. I went to a rally.” This use elaborates on the sheer amount of “cult and religion-style propaganda” that shook them. “These people refer to themselves as diamond, emerald, sapphire, warrior, etc.”
2. Standup Comedian
Standup comedians made this list. A man confessed to dating one who promised she wouldn’t use him as standup material. However, after they broke up, it was game on. “She used a lot of personal, private details about my life for a 15-minute bit.” He further noted who knows what would have happened after a divorce.
Lawyers were all over the list as a profession people were unwilling to marry. One suggests marrying a divorce lawyer would be “too risky.” Another explains she is a lawyer and dated several before meeting her husband. “In my experience, arguments between two people who argue for a living can get intense.”
Celebrities got no love when it came to nuptials in this thread. The idea of losing your freedom to step into a spotlight that’s not yours doesn’t sound appealing. “Yeah, I feel like marrying a celebrity takes the exclusive out of a mutually exclusive relationship.”
5. Police Officer
The idea of dating a police officer when studies show 40% of them have been reported as domestic abusers is less than appealing to most. One explains that these are reported numbers, so the “actual number is higher.”
Politicians from either political party were voted unmarriable. A campaign staffer volunteers that they may consider dating a local politician running, but never one running for state or federal political positions.
Marrying a soldier would equal sleepless nights, too much time apart, and fear of losing your partner. One claims, “Take it from someone who is ex-military. It would also mean a ton of infidelity from both parties.”
8. Restaurant Owner
Many suggest you avoid restaurant owners if you want to see your spouse. This is because you’ll no longer have evenings and weekends to do fun couple things or even family events easily. Others added that small business owners, generally “especially brick and mortar,” spend all their lives prioritizing work over you.
Surgeons are mentioned all over the thread as “jocks with saws” who are unmarriable. Orthopedic surgeons and neurosurgeons were called out specifically for having “narcissistic personalities” and “God complexes.” However, despite those allegations, several users blessed them for saving lives. They just don’t want to marry them.
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Zookeepers take the final spot on this list of professionals people wouldn’t want to marry. But in this case, it’s because of the smell. A couple of zookeepers came into the comments to agree with those who claim the smell unbearable.
This thread inspired this post.
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Elizabeth Ervin is the owner of Sober Healing. She is a freelance writer passionate about opioid recovery and has celebrated breaking free since 09-27-2013. She advocates for mental health awareness and encourages others to embrace healing, recovery, and spirituality.