Are you confused or curious about what men want? Then, we got you covered (ish), right? Of course, not all men can be stereotyped as a monolith. I know that, and you know that. However, after someone surveyed a men’s online forum, asking what they desire, these are the most discussed confessions.
1. Time Alone
One man said, “Loyalty, time alone, and feeling appreciated,” before several others chimed in to confirm the time alone portion of the statement. Then, finally, someone clarified, “Time alone, but without holding it against us, internalizing it as their failure to be desired.”
2. Sleep
Sleep was the number-two-voted response. One admitted, “Yeah. Haven’t had an excellent night’s sleep in a decade.” Another combined the top answers to clarify, “Related to other’s answers, not to sacrifice sleep to get that time left alone. I get up at least an hour before I need to because there’s no other time to do things I want to do for myself.”
3. Affection
As many men noted they want the same things as women, one specified, “Attention. It’s crazy how a compliment can make my entire month for me.”
Another suggested, “Men should be more encouraged to show affection and compliment each other more. There’s also nothing wrong with hugging each other now and then. I wish there weren’t this weird idea that being affectionate towards each other is anti-masculine.”
4. To Love and Be Loved
Many men in the thread confessed the natural desire “To love and be loved.” One man added, “I want to be wanted. I want to be the little spoon. I want to be the reason someone is excited to start their day, the reason someone smiles. I want to be vulnerable. I want to be loved.
5. A Back and Neck Massage
After several men confessed to wanting back and neck massages, one volunteered, “Brother, you might not know this, but you need a forearm massage too.” Another added, “Forearms are quite sensitive and are full of pressure points for stress-related stuff.”
6. Companionship and Deep Emotional Connection
“Companionship and a deep emotional connection, even if they don’t know how to ask for it,” one confessed. Another admitted, “One of the best things I ever did for myself in this regard was going to therapy.
Learning to effectively communicate your emotions without getting caught up in them will save you many struggles and emotional turmoil. You could make those moves now even if you didn’t get it or learn how to grow up.
7. See My Impact
One man shared, “I could die a happy man if I saw my life’s impact on others.” A second asked, “You ever volunteered? It’s enriching and usually a killer way to meet other people. By the end of a year, you probably wouldn’t even be able to doubt your impact on others; you’ll have seen it first-hand.”
8. Debt Free
Many men in the thread agreed with the notion of being debt free. One confirmed, “Been there for five years. It’s worth the struggle and lives up to the hype.”
9. A Hug
“A hug. Just a hug,” one lamented. “People don’t realize how nice getting hugged is until you suddenly realize you’ve gone nine years without one.” A second shared, “One of the best things since I had kids. My allotted hug count has greatly increased. I guess this will only last until they are teens, so make every – one count now.”
10. Reciprocation
Finally, one shared, “To receive the same love and loyalty I give. I want you to make me feel special the same way I try to make you feel special. So please don’t leave me hanging and question where I stand in your life.”
11. To Get Into the Woods
Numerous men in the thread admit wanting time away in nature, specifically the woods. One paints a glorious picture with a cabin setting, fishing, and hunting.
12. To Be Vulnerable
Unfortunately, generations of men were raised to believe that showing emotions is a sign of weakness. Several men lament the ability to be vulnerable and be allowed to feel their feelings.
13. To Be Validated
To be validated. One man admits, “Just had my wedding, and we didn’t know our vows ahead of time, and my wives were, “I promise to make sure you always feel heard.” It’s not even something I knew I needed, but she did. Just a big wave of relief, warmth, and reflection, knowing I’ll never feel belittled for expressing myself or my thoughts.”
14. Respect
Numerous men in the thread want respect from their peers, coworkers, family, and the women and men they love. Unfortunately, it seems in this day and age; it’s more difficult to obtain.
15. Sympathy
Finally, one man states, “A lot of men do a lot of bad things, and I don’t want to downplay that, but sometimes it feels like women take for granted that they get to be the recipient of every interaction with men, and are in a position to judge us.”
Men are expected to make the first move, proposal in:
- initial approach
- asking for the first date
- choosing where to go
- asking for follow-up dates
- Physical contact (hand holding, hugging, arm around the shoulder)
- First kiss
- Adult relations
- Marriage
That is A LOT of chances for us to overstep, misunderstand, or make a mistake. I’m not saying to excuse bad behavior, like, could we maybe have a break sometimes?”
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Elizabeth Ervin is the owner of Sober Healing. She is a freelance writer passionate about opioid recovery and has celebrated breaking free since 09-27-2013. She advocates for mental health awareness and encourages others to embrace healing, recovery, and Jesus.