15 Ridiculously Stupid Things Men Said While Their Partners Were in Labor

I came across a fun question that reminded me of an episode of Friends. Someone asked, “What was the dumbest thing your partner said when you were in labor with your child?” 

Immediately, I see Ross telling Rachel, “You have no idea how much this hurts,” after hitting his head while she’s literally birthing a human. Here are the top-voted idiotic responses from women on a popular online forum. 

1. Looks Like It Hurts

One woman confessed her partner stated the obvious when saying, “Something along the lines of “dang babe, that looks like it hurts.” Several women in the thread laughed together about how ridiculous it was to say.

2. Ease Up on the Gas Babe

Another admitted, “He doesn’t think I remember this because I was pretty zonked, but I was sucking on that sweet, sweet gas while I was riding contractions, and he said, ‘ease up on the gas, babe.’ The nurse looked him dead on and said, ‘she can have as much gas as she wants.’ He was suitably cowed until it was time to cut the cord.”

3. Offered Food

“My Brother-in-law, at a complete loss on how to help or comfort his wife, panicked, pulled a six-pack of Tesco mini pork pies out of his pocket, and offered her one mid-birth. That was 17 years ago, and we are still laughing about it,” one replied. Another joked, “She usually stops screaming when I offer food! Why isn’t it working!?”

4. Starving Nap Time

One woman explained that her partner stated, ” He was starving and needed a nap.” A second user shared, “I don’t have a personal experience, but I can’t get over my coworker telling the story of his wife.

At some critical point, he left to get a sandwich, and when all the women in our office heard the story and were like, what were you thinking? He says, “it was a rough day for me, too, alright?”

5. Stop Screaming

As if being told to stop screaming isn’t bad enough, one woman confessed her partner said, “Stop screaming. You’re scaring the other women.” Another added, “Similar to this, I got, ‘shhh, you sound like a mooing cow. It’s scaring people.”

6. It’s Not Time

One woman explained her partner exclaimed, “It’s not time! You aren’t due for a few more months. He was in complete denial I was pregnant, not with one baby but two. Lol, twins at 36 weeks as anticipated.”

7. I Wanted You To Have a C-Section

One woman advised, “When I was training to be a Labor and Delivery nurse, a guy said to his wife, ‘I told you I wanted you to have a C-section. How am I supposed to be intimate with you after this?”

8. Sudoku Chain Smoker

Another shared, “Nothing. My partner was in the corner playing sudoku on the magazines I was given for hospital time and constantly going out for cigarettes.” Several women expressed their disgust with her situation.

9. The Lady Down the Hall Is Going To Beat Us

“Hurry! The lady down the hall is going to beat us!’ It was January 1st. He wanted us to win the first baby of the New Year,” one woman explained. Many women loved this story.

10. Do You Want Any?

Image Credit: Deposit Photos – VadimVasenin.

“After seven hours of intense pain, with no active labor in sight, he says, ‘I’m going to grab myself some nuggets. You want any?’ I had terrible contractions causing me to throw up. So that was a huge no,” one replied.

11. Offering Gatorades

One woman volunteered, “I had a surprise home birth. While I was pushing, he was offering the EMTs Gatorade. I love making fun of him for it because it’s so in character-for him. Such a host!”

12. Can We Go Home?

Another shared, “I was in labor, and at sixteen hours, he said, ‘Can we go home?’ I was in labor another six hours before our baby was born.” Several women laughed at the notion.

13. Breathe

“Telling me to breathe,” one admitted. “My partner was trying to think of something to help, but at that point, I was 25 hours in and done with it all. I wanted to yell that I was breathing but couldn’t speak. I was in so much pain, so I thumped my fist on his hand. I don’t feel great about it, but he stopped telling me to breathe.”

14. The Needle Is So Big!

One woman explained, “I wasn’t in labor, but getting prepped for a cesarean. My husband returned with sandwiches and told me, ‘Dang, I can’t go into the OR until they give you the spinal block because the needle is SO BIG!’ I almost slapped the sandwiches on the floor.”

Popular Reading: 15 Big Things Men Will Never Understand About Women

15. Be Mentally Tough

Finally, a woman stated that her partner said, “Babe, pain doesn’t hurt. Be mentally tough’ if I could have gotten to him, I would have castrated him right there. All natural, all back labor, 25 1/2 hrs, and pushed for two. He is lucky I’m still here after 29 years!”

This thread inspired this post.

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Elizabeth Ervin is the owner of Sober Healing. She is a freelance writer passionate about opioid recovery and has celebrated breaking free since 09-27-2013. She advocates for mental health awareness and encourages others to embrace healing, recovery, and spirituality.