Recently, women in an online forum discussed what they would teach their children that their parents did not. From teaching consent to regulating emotions, here are their top responses.
1. Adult Relations
Countless women confess their parents never had “the talk” with them because they feared it would make them want to engage in the act. It was a taboo topic that shouldn’t be taboo. If you don’t teach them, the world will and not in as nice of way. My dad’s conversation with me went something like this: “Don’t do it. All boys are jerks.” It was not effective.
2. Emotional Intelligence
Emotional intelligence is another vital life skill that mothers want to teach their kids today. For example, identifying, understanding, and managing their own emotions as well as the emotions of others. Teaching children how to cope with big emotions healthily is essential for success. So many parents go the ‘I’ll give you something to cry about’ route instead of helping their children work through new and immense emotions.
3. You Don’t Need To Have a Partner
Life is not a Disney movie, and teaching little girl’s that they should wait on a Prince Charming is an unhealthy and unrealistic lesson. Many forum members acknowledge that teaching people their life is incomplete without a partner is a setup for failure. A woman adds that this kind of thinking keeps people in abusive relationships for fear of being alone. Despite many things centered around couples, you can do life with a friend.
4. Money Management
If your children are a product of the American public school system, you can bet that they will not be taught about money management and how to invest for higher returns. These mothers insist they will make sure their kids know about saving, investing, credit scores, and retirement.
5. Confidence in Independence
These moms know allowing their children to make mistakes, learn, and grow from them is important. If you attempt to solve all their problems, overcoming inconveniences and obstacles will become more significant stressors in their adult lives because they never develop the confidence in the independence to make decisions and know what to do.
6. Adults Owe You Apologies Too
Did your parents apologize to you when they were wrong about things? Countless individuals express that their parents did not and that it is one thing they teach their children. “Just because they’re a grown-up doesn’t mean they don’t make mistakes. You’re entitled to an apology from an adult, no matter how small you are.”
7. Physical Consent
How many times were you forced to hug or kiss family members or friends of your parents when they arrived or departed? Those days are over. Now, parents want their children to understand consent and feel comfortable with who they have physical touch with. Considering that most abusers are family or family friends, this is actually a critical lesson.
8. Saying “I Love You”
An unfortunate number of people grew up in homes where verbalizing your love for each other was not practiced or normal. “One of the wildest ideas from previous generations was that strictness and hardship make you the best person… nope! Support, validation, and healthy boundaries do.” Several people recall hearing things like: “When I was your age, my dad kicked my bum all over the place for not eating my peas. Now I’m a better person for it!”
9. It’s OK To Make Mistakes
Moms today agree that teaching your kids that it’s OK to make mistakes is a good thing. “That’s how we learn. There’s no need for ridicule or anger. What’s important is how you deal with it afterward. Don’t bark at them for spilling their drink. Teach them how to clean it up.”
10. It’s OK To Cry
Did you grow up in a home where crying was frowned upon or something you may even get in trouble for doing? I imagine that many little boys grew up hearing, “Boys aren’t supposed to cry.” Teaching your children that crying is OK and a normal response to feeling your emotions is critical for emotional intelligence.
11. Unconditional Love
Conditional love is scary and sets children up for abusive relationships later in life. Teaching them never to question whether or not you love them is an unconditional gift and a healthy lesson. Your kids shouldn’t need to ‘earn’ a single ounce of love from you. “I’ll always give her my heart, and she ‘owes’ me absolutely nothing for it.”
12. It’s OK To Be Yourself
Teaching your children that it is OK to be themselves is vital. “It doesn’t matter if society thinks you should be different or another type of person. Just live your life and learn how you can improve yourself in your own way of being.”
13. How Periods Work
Several women admit that their parents never told them about periods. One shares that she learned from a teacher when she got hers at school. My father raised me, and I can tell you that he never talked to me about them, either. Also, when the time came, he took me to the aisle in Safeway, pointed, and said: “Take as long as you need to find the ones you want.”
14. How To Cook
Did your parents teach you how to cook? I’m a Gen X kid, so I was cooking ramen before I was out of Pampers, I’m sure. But in all seriousness, many women admit their parents did not teach them this basic life skill, and they will remedy it by teaching their children.
15. Boundaries
Boundaries are the consequences that you enforce in your own behavior in response to the problematic behavior of others. “They must be nuanced, balanced, communicated, understood, and followed through. They must come with the caveat that the other person has the choice of whether or not they want to respect your boundary. You have to be ok with taking the necessary action on your own part when they don’t.”
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Source: Reddit.
Elizabeth Ervin is the owner of Sober Healing. She is a freelance writer passionate about opioid recovery and has celebrated breaking free since 09-27-2013. She advocates for mental health awareness and encourages others to embrace healing, recovery, and Jesus.