What is something that loses its meaning if you have to ask for it? From apologies to gifts, here are the top 12 things that don’t hit the same when you have to ask.
1. An Apology
Having to ask for an apology after someone has hurt your feelings or betrayed your trust takes away from it, meaning anything. Condescending apologies are even worse.
Do you find yourself constantly begging to spend time with someone who isn’t making time for you? Time that is not spent genuinely is a waste of the clock for both of you.
R-E-S-P-E-C-T — I shouldn’t have to ask or tell you what it means to me. In doing so, it takes away all meaning. If you can’t extend basic respect, that will become a problem in any relationship.
Having to ask for attention takes away some of the authenticity of the time spent together. I think one of the most significant examples of this is having to ask someone to please put down their phone when you are spending time with them, especially when you are speaking.
5. An Engagement
Nothing is less romantic and reassuring than asking for an engagement. If it doesn’t happen naturally and on their own accord, why press the issue? Asking someone when they are going to propose loses a little value in the gesture. Don’t you think?
If your partner isn’t dishing out compliments, asking for them takes away from the meaning of receiving those kind words. Imagine getting dressed up, putting a little extra into putting yourself together, and then having to ask your partner to notice and say something nice. It’s not the same thing as walking into a room and having his jaw hit the floor.
Another thoughtful gesture that loses its luster when having to ask for them — is receiving a beautiful, fresh bouquet of flowers. Sometimes, having your partner show up with a random arrangement to let you know you’re appreciated is wonderful, but not if you have to drop hints or worse — beg.
Another normal and expected part of a relationship is intimacy and affection. However, if you have to ask to be cuddled, hugged, kissed, and more, it certainly shadows when your partner naturally gives you the affection.
Do you find that you are the only one putting in the effort in your relationship? Reciprocation is an essential exchange in healthy relationships. Having to ask to have your back or feet rubbed in return doesn’t hold the same meaning as if your partner does it out of the kindness and love in their heart.
Having to ask to be loved in the ways that you love, or even to hear the words “I love you,” doesn’t have the same meaning as authentically reciprocated love.
11. Greeting Cards
Do you have to ask your partner to get you birthday, Valentine’s Day, and anniversary cards? Yeah. That doesn’t at all sound as meaningful as if they got you the cards without being prompted.
Nothing compares to the thoughtfulness behind your partner bearing gifts. However, having to drop hints, add things to wish lists, and flat-out ask for something nice ruins its authenticity.
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Elizabeth Ervin is the owner of Sober Healing. She is a freelance writer passionate about opioid recovery and has celebrated breaking free since 09-27-2013. She advocates for mental health awareness and encourages others to embrace healing, recovery, and spirituality.