It’s becoming more and more difficult to pretend like the sky is not falling. Things that once sounded like outrageous conspiracy now appear as obvious truths. People you thought you once knew are all spouting hateful rhetoric, blatant propaganda, and ignorant, regurgitated nonsense from both polarized sides of the political fence.
Being removed from both parties — accepting the system is entirely corrupt and broken — it’s easy to see the hypocrisy from both sides.
No Room for Thinking Outside the System
But somehow, because I don’t subscribe to the things we were indoctrinated with about our country anymore (by our own government), my voice is respected by few. I have been told that If I don’t vote, I don’t have a voice. Or my favorite, “Not voting is a vote for (whoever that person doesn’t want in office).
No. Not voting is a vote for my conscience. Not voting is a vote for my moral compass. Not voting is a vote for being able to sleep at night. Not voting is for my relationship with Christ. I don’t want to sign my name to murderous wars and resource theft.
I don’t know what to think, feel, or believe about anyone or anything anymore. But I know I don’t believe a word about what I was taught about our country’s history, diplomatic policies, or political intentions of either party. I don’t even believe in the voting system anymore.
How could you? Every election, they catch fraud: dead people are voting, overseas or mail-in ballots aren’t counted, etc. Do you remember the hanging chads in Florida??? This is not new. Still, I was bullied into voting last time, and I seriously regret my choice.
Not because it was the first time I voted for a Democrat, but because I allowed society to force me into conforming, put me inside of a box, and pressure me into doing something I genuinely do not believe matters. Elections are paid for..
Do you remember when you honestly thought impeachment meant you removed the guy from office? Who knew it really meant broadcasting it for the biggest reality show the world has ever seen? I bet they made (and are making) a killing off ad revenue.
The Negativity Is Here to Stay
Speaking of, that’s what I do. That’s what most website owners do. I write articles for ad revenue. Do you want to know why everything is negative? Because it’s ALL you will actually click on. Sure, you like to say you hate the clickbait, but analytics don’t lie.
I pump out 20 articles on mental health tips, and I make $20 in total. I spend hours (days) pouring my heart into something I genuinely care about and have expertise in (addiction and recovery), and I hear crickets and make nothing.
But I write one article about the “MAGA Cult,” and I make $2000 in one day. Toss another one out about “White liberal guilt” and holy toledo; I’m in the money. More money than I ever dreamed.
It’s a moral conundrum. Feed my family spewing hate? Or push the positive for pennies?
I can already hear the extreme right telling me to “Get a real job!” But if I quit and had to get on government assistance programs again, then I’d be a “lazy libtard” who needs to get a job and stop mooching off the taxpayers.
I can hear the extreme left chastising me about creating division — while they rabidly dig through my socials from 20 years ago to find whatever they can to cancel me.
Still, the comment section, my Google Analytics, and my bank account say you both want more. We really can’t win.
An Honest Question About the Current Administration?
Would you be concerned about his health if the current President was your father or grandfather? I had a father with dementia who declined — almost overnight — and I can tell you it looks exactly like what is happening to our commander and chief.
But you can’t voice that genuine concern without being attacked as a “Right-wing Trump supporter.” One of my lifelong best friends told me I sounded like one. I expressed offense, and he doubled down with no remorse.
It hurts to realize that even the people who have known you most of your life will quickly label and dismiss you by said label if you disagree with their mainstream narrative of what you must think and believe because it doesn’t align with their own ideology. I don’t fit into either box.
Did you know that millions of Americans have lost loved ones to dementia-related diseases? So, please, don’t argue with me about what I can see with my own eyes, no matter how hard they try to disguise it and call it something else.
Fine. Call it senility. It’s still reason enough to deem him unfit for another term. I can’t take anything you say seriously if you’re unwilling to admit that he’s not even who he was four years ago. I’m watching the left do exactly what I watched the right do with Trump, accept everything as good, normal, and perfect. Biden can do no wrong, and you dare not speak out against him.
What has happened to human decency? You’re not allowed to have independent thoughts that don’t fit the mainstream narrative without being labeled a bigot or a racist. You’re not allowed to ask questions anymore.
Clinging to Old Beliefs About Our System
The very fact that these are the two candidates forced on us to run the country is the only evidence you need to know the entire thing is an illusion of choice.
When they take office, these guys almost immediately start campaigning for the next term. There is massive money in politics; where there is money, you find power, greed, and corruption. We have a $34 trillion national debt! Both parties are responsible.
This is not a Democrat or a Republican problem. It’s a U.S. Government issue. Stop being blinded by your allegiance to a system and party that doesn’t honestly give a sincere inkling of care about you, your family, your stock portfolio, etc.
Can you honestly say, without prejudice or bias, that you believe either of those men are more qualified than the other 160 million men in America? Those guys? Those are your first draft picks? It’s a terrifying reality we are living in.
My Own Hypocrisy
I feel restless. I want to talk about it. But I can’t. Because no one knows how to be civil anymore. Myself included. I’m easily triggered and offended, too. They are programming us to be. It’s not a black-and-white thing. It’s a green thing. It’s never really about our interests. It’s always about money.
Do you see my own hypocrisy? The negative news is my money. The positive news is my moral compass trying to do good in the world. Be helpful. Educate. Inform. Bring hope. And it’s zero traffic and dollars. What’s my incentive to write positive things?
Now think of the government; the negative (wars, trafficking, crime/for-profit prisons, drug seizures, healthcare). It’s their money. What’s their incentive to fix any of those problems? To unravel any of their income sources?
Final Thoughts
I quit my job. I’ve since stopped writing divisive content. But the temptation is still there. Times are difficult. I’ve been in a dreadfully lonely headspace. On the one hand, I am blessed to have Jesus reminding me that I’m not alone. On the other hand, I’m in the world, and it’s become a frighteningly unrecognizable place.
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Elizabeth Ervin is the owner of Sober Healing. She is a freelance writer passionate about opioid recovery and has celebrated breaking free since 09-27-2013. She advocates for mental health awareness and encourages others to embrace healing, recovery, and Jesus.