Have you ever been accused of being a selfish person? Perhaps you had some self-reflection that led you to the conclusion. You’re not alone. After someone asked for examples of behaviors that indicate you are a selfish person, here are the top-voted suggestions.
1. You Make Combative Comparisons
Do you find yourself one-upping other people’s stories? Do you have a habit of interjecting your experiences with details, elaborating how it was much worse or better than whatever the person speaking with you is sharing? This is often a telling sign of being a selfish person.
Of course, there can be other reasons behind interrupting conversations. For example, cognitive disabilities such as ADHD can contribute to the behavior.
Regardless of what drives your behavior, learning to navigate ordinary conversation is essential and considerate. Asking questions to engage in conversation, watching a conversationalist’s mouth to distract from being lost in your head, and using a fidget may aid in being an active listener.
2. Your Conversations Are One-Sided
Another sign you may be a selfish person is if you are guilty of having one-sided talks about your life, such as your — wants, needs, thoughts, desires, and priorities. Are you the “talker.” This might apply to you.
A forum member elaborates: “Conversations don’t feel like conversations. When you are able to slip a word in, they are used as transitions in their dialogue. No matter how you format your words, they all just add to the plot of their story. What you say and do are pawns in their game to be manipulated in a way that belittles your experiences, actions, opinions, and choices.”
3. You Don’t Reciprocate
Selfish people gladly take any favors you do for them. But when asked if they could reciprocate once, they get defensive and/or aggressive and act like you’re the selfish one for expecting reciprocation. Not as in you did something with the expectation of getting something in return.
But never receiving any reciprocation in a relationship becomes completely one-sided and unhealthy. “Relationships are give and take, which makes them healthy,” one writes. “It’s not entitlement to expect kindness if you give kindness. If you’re the only one giving, you’re being taken advantage of.”
4. You Don’t Return Your Shopping Cart
Numerous people agree with one cliche answer: “I have found the ‘return the shopping cart’ test to be pretty accurate. It is such a small thing, but it does tell you if a person thinks small things like that matter.”
5. You Don’t Treat Hospitality Workers With Respect
Are you someone who needs to talk to the manager? Do you belittle people who “make mistakes” out in the real world? Then, you are a selfish (and terrible) person. I can’t believe the number of videos I have seen of people yelling at fast-food employees, Starbucks baristas, and other places where someone is underpaid to put up with you.
6. You Aren’t Remorseful
Do you ever sit with your feelings of guilt or shame over how you’ve mistreated another person? Many selfish people show zero remorse when their behaviors and actions affect others around them in a negative way. A person adds: “Let’s not forget how they make you apologize for how you made them feel — when you want to talk about things they did to you.”
7. You Never Apologize
Similarly, people who never own up to being wrong, hurting, or offending others are selfish. Do you apologize when you are out of pocket? If not, there is a high chance you are a selfish person indeed.
8. You Always Talk About Money and “The Grind”
People who always talk about money or the grind are labeled as selfish in the thread. “Usually, they will sell you out in a heartbeat or take advantage of others for money, which is pretty selfish.”
9. You Often Play the Victim
People who have a victim mentality tend to be selfish. Someone explains: “When they always play the victim card. 99% of the time, they only place themselves in the victim seat by ignoring all the effort or cost other people have to endure and only focus on what they go through themselves.”
10. You Drive Aggressively
YES. Someone said it — “Selfish people drive aggressively. We’ve all seen people weaving in and out of traffic, passing on the right, tailgating, etc. It’s pretty selfish to create dangerous situations for other drivers.” Please. For the love of God, use your blinkers! Moreover, when you see mine, don’t speed up, jerk! Ugh. The absolute worst.
11. You Litter
There is no reason for you to throw garbage outside of your vehicle or leave it at the parks and campgrounds you’re visiting. The first time I saw the Baltimore-Washington Parkway, I was appalled. People really dump entire trash bags full of garbage on the side of this otherwise beautiful road. Gross.
12. You Tell People How Selfless and Empathetic You Are
Do you go around announcing how selfless and empathetic you are? According to this forum, that is an indicator of you being selfish. It’s kind of like how when someone says they are a nice person. Nice people don’t go around announcing it, and neither do selfless and empathetic folks.
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Elizabeth Ervin is the owner of Sober Healing. She is a freelance writer passionate about opioid recovery and has celebrated breaking free since 09-27-2013. She advocates for mental health awareness and encourages others to embrace healing, recovery, and Jesus.