Are there any telltale signs that someone is a terrible person in your eyes? You’re not alone. According to an online community, some undeniable signs signal to others when you are a horrible person. Here are THEIR honest confessions.
1. Unwilling to Apologize
People who know they’ve wronged you, refuse to apologize, and take ownership of that offense are terrible. This also translates to adults who don’t think they need to apologize anymore, especially to their children.
2. Willing to Hurt Others for Personal Gain
People willing to hurt others in any way for their own personal benefit are horrible human beings without empathy, compassion, or concern for others.
3. Taking Credit for Other People’s Accomplishments
For example, when I got clean and sober, my cousin had the audacity to say, “I saved your life.” He also told anyone who could listen that I would be dead if it wasn’t for him. The reason he alleged it was because he was the one who told my father I was using heroin.
But he is not at all responsible for my recovery. I am the one who chose to get sober. I am the one who went through weeks of unimaginable withdrawals. I am the one who continues to say no ten years later. He is a narcissist, and plenty of others are like him.
4. Being Nice to Manipulate Others
“Only being nice to people who can be useful to them,” explains one. Another clarifies, “I’ll never forget this saying. ‘Don’t judge someone’s character by the way they treat you, but judge their character by how they treat someone less than them.'”
5. Being Nasty Because Someone Is Upset You Hurt Them
“Honestly, the number of times I’ve heard of a friend’s friend getting abusive because they’re upset that someone would dare be hurt at something they did that was legitimately nasty is disappointing,” confesses one. “Wrapping my head around being nasty because someone is upset you hurt them makes me seethe.”
6. Unwilling to Forgive
Several people suggest that if you are unwilling to forgive others, you have hatred and malice in your heart, making you a terrible person. I realize some things are “unforgivable” in worldly views. Spiritually, forgiveness frees you of the burden of harboring that hate.
Nonetheless, those offenses aren’t what we are discussing. If someone steps on your new shoes, breaks a favorite dish, or something else in that vein, and you hold grudges for years about it, you’ve been labeled a bad person in the forum.
7. Using Things Against You
Someone suggests, “When they use intimate and vulnerable things, you share with them against you.” A second user quotes lyrics from the Hozier song, “Take Me To Church:” “I’ll tell you my sins so you can sharpen your knife.”
8. Justifying Poor Behavior Because of What Someone Else Did to You
Believing it’s OK to do and say questionable or harmful things because someone did or said those to you is terrible. Thinking that you’re allowed to do and say it to other people because you were a victim isn’t right.
9. Gaslighting
Gaslighting is the worst, especially when people will weaponize the silent treatment when they do something horrible, and you’re angry about it. A user quotes The Narcissist Prayer: “That didn’t happen. And if it did, it wasn’t that bad. And if it was, that’s not a big deal. And if it is, I don’t believe it’s my fault. And if it was, I didn’t mean it. And if I did, you deserved it.” —Dayna Craig.
10. Guilt Tripping Other People
People who employ the “guilt trip” to get what they want are lousy for doing so. This can manifest with threats like: “I won’t talk to you until you do the dishes.” Or: “If you don’t tell me, I’ll make you sleep on the couch.”
11. Proud of Trashy Behaviors
Over 12,000 people agree with the statement, “They are proud of their trashy behaviors,” before one explains, “You don’t need to watch out for the absolute worst people. They’ll brag about it.”
12. Love Making Others Look Bad
“When they love making other people look bad,” one elaborates, “Constantly calling people out. Putting others down. Cracking ‘jokes’ at the expense of others for cheap laughs.”
13. How They Treat People Deemed “Below” Them
One notes, “How they treat people who are ‘below’ them.” Another adds, “How you treat someone in the service industry really says a lot about a person.” As someone who worked in the service industry for far too long, I know some entitled people feel like everything should cater to them. They are so challenging to deal with, and the people putting up with them aren’t paid enough.
14. Sometimes There Are None
One of the most honest answers in the thread reads, “Sometimes there are none.” A user agrees, stating, “This. This is the answer. Most of the top comments at the time of my commenting are surface-level behaviors. The people that are horrible “deep down” don’t telegraph it. Charlie Manson was probably nice to dogs, Ted Kaczynski probably treated the wait staff well, etc.”
15. Talking Trash About Friends and Coworkers
Constantly talking badly about whatever friends or coworkers are not around is an indication to many that you are a terrible person. We’ve all heard the old adage, “If they talk that way to you, they talk that way about you.”
16. Treating Animals Poorly
A sure sign to most that you are a terrible person depends on how you treat animals. Someone suggests, “I think it was one of Mark Rober’s early videos. He was testing to see if people were more likely to swerve to avoid “cute” animals like squirrels vs. ‘scary’ animals like snakes.
He found that some people would swerve and hit them intentionally and that SUVs and Trucks were the most likely to do so by a pretty wide margin.”
17. People Unwilling to Change and Grow
Being an adult doesn’t mean you’re a perfect know-it-all with everything figured out. Unfortunately, however, numerous adults live as such. Someone who isn’t willing to change or grow is a sign of being a terrible person. You are never right 100% of the time.
18. Unwilling to Respect Boundaries
Another sign you are a terrible person is if you don’t respect boundaries that people have established with you. However, on the flip side, one notes, “Not communicating boundaries and then getting mad at you for crossing said unknown boundary acting like it was something you should have just guessed.”
19. Not Communicating With You About Being Upset With You
When people are upset with you and choose not to communicate with you but instead talk behind your back with other people, it is listed as a sign of a terrible person.
20. Selfish and Never Compromise
When people are unwilling to bend on anything due to their selfishness, it also makes this list of signs that you are a terrible person. One user clarifies, “They never compromise on anything. Everything is about them. Obviously, there’s a good way to be stubborn. But I’m talking about the selfish kind of stubborn.”
21. Lack of Accountability
One user states, “Lack of accountability. It’s always someone else’s fault.” To which over 26,000 people agree. Another adds, “Exactly this. Or blame you for the actions they took because they were upset.”
22. People Who Never Question If They Are Bad
Numerous forum members suggest that when you never reflect on whether or not you are a terrible person, bad parent, bad friend, bad spouse, or wrong in any way — that makes you as awful as they come. We are all the bad guys in someone else’s story.
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Elizabeth Ervin is the owner of Sober Healing. She is a freelance writer passionate about opioid recovery and has celebrated breaking free since 09-27-2013. She advocates for mental health awareness and encourages others to embrace healing, recovery, and Jesus.